Raise your hand if you are planning on being raptured tomorrow. You know damn well that if you are reading this you aren’t going to be raptured tomorrow son, so put your damn hand down.
I will be here, working, and you will be there, still. I think this whole thing is so odd. I understand that all Christians believe that yes: some day: they will all be taken up to Heaven in one mass uplifting (I went to church when I was little, I remember these things), but come on. I just made the last fucking car payment two days ago.
So, this my dear ones may be your last chance to have any type of sexual contact with another human being before the big event. So pick your girl, dial those numbers, and bust your nut before the heaven’s open up and you are lifted up into the great beyond.
And for those of you left behind? I’ll be more then willing to make your days on earth just as happy as I always have in the past.
Maggie
