The Klassy Kat

People often use the word fetish as a label for any sort of sexual practice or interest that deviates from the norm, but how many of us actually know what it means? Fetishism refers to an intense fixation on a particular object—basically, the belief that certain objects overpower the individual. The most commonly known types of fetishes are sexual in nature. A sexual fetish requires a particular item’s presence for sexual arousal. Below is a list of some of the more, shall we say, interesting types of fetishes that exist.

Emetophilia
Becoming sexually aroused by vomit. People with this fetish may find themselves lurking near frat houses on Fridays around 3 a.m.

Diaper Fetishism
A strong inclination toward wearing diapers. Whether or not the diaper fetishist uses the diaper for its intended purpose is a matter of preference.

Coprolalia
Being turned-on by someone using profanity. Fuck. Shit. Ass. Do you want me now?

Blood Fetish
The belief that blood has supernatural qualities. Angelina Jolie once wore a vial of her then-husband Billy Bob Thorton’s blood around her neck. Dracula or fetishist? You decide.

Robot Fetishism
Also called “technosexuality,” it refers to a sexual attraction to robots or humans dressed as robots. I bet Vicki from the TV show Small Wonder got a lot of fan mail from these fetishists.

Agalmatophilia
Similar to robot fetishism, it involves sexual arousal from mannequins or statues. This makes me think of Kim Cattrall in the movie Mannequin in a very different way.

Somnophilia
Somnophiliacs get their jollies from watching people sleep. Perhaps the makers of Ambien and Lunesta need to rethink who they’re targeting with their marketing campaigns.

Satin Fetishism
Arousal from the look or feel of satin, by either wearing it or seeing it. Watch out for the creepy person in the corner of a fabric store lovingly fingering the reems of satin and inhaling their aroma.

Doraphilia
Sexual excitement from leather, skin, or fur. This seems kind of tame in the world of fetishes, like something the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County might have if they had a fetish.

Urolagnia
Finding urine or the act of urinating sexually pleasing. Golden showers, an act derived from urolagnia and demonstrated in a few controversial videos involving R. Kelly, refers to peeing on someone or being peed on for sexual pleasure.

Cross-Eyed Fetish
Not sure what the scientific name for this fetish is, but this is good news for Dannielynn Birkhead, Anna Nicole Smith’s cross-eyed offspring.

Dendrophilia
This is a sexual attraction to trees and probably explains why a select few tree huggers take it a few steps further and become tree humpers.

Garment Fetishism
The eroticism of articles of clothing or uniforms. No wonder we see so many naughty nurses, slutty secretaries, and mischievous milk maidens wandering around every Halloween.

Pictophilia
Sexual excitement from pictures or videos of sex. People like watching sex? Now there’s a shocker.

Pyrophilia
One aspect of this fetish involves deriving pleasure from intercourse with a burning corpse. I have no idea how this would work, but it seems like there might be some serious logistical issues, not to mention medical dangers.

Retifism
Having sexual feelings toward shoes, feet, heels. So that’s why Carrie Bradshaw had all those Manolos.

Taphephilia
Being buried alive as a way to get off. That better be one good orgasm.

Archnephilia
Sexual attraction to spiders. These fetishists are typically big fans of the Grandaddy Longlegs species.

This is just a sampling of some of the fetishes in the world but there are thousands—maybe even millions—more, which made me wonder if the people who don’t have fetishes are really the ones with the so-called dysfunction.

But no matter what your fetish, if you can find someone to share it with and it doesn’t negatively interfere with your everyday life, I say let your fetish flag fly. Based on the ten million Web sites that come up when you type “fetish” into Google, I’m guessing that finding a partner in crime will be no problem.