Imagine there’s an area about the size of the head of your penis centered on her clit. That means the stuff above and below and all the way around the clit, not just the tip of clit itself. The underside of the clit is the best part and just above the clit is the shaft. You know it has a shaft, right? Don’t ignore it. Now pretend the rest of the area (vagina, lips) is the equivalent of the shaft of your penis. Then do to her what you want her to do to you.

Let’s begin. Once you’ve gotten the whole area thoroughly wet with saliva and you’ve done some exploring and teasing, stick mostly to the good stuff. Again, that’s that area about the size of the head of your penis that’s centered around her clit. Some people have a psychological thing about teasing being sexy but a lot of us don’t. Get to the good stuff before we get bored. Also, I’m a lot more open to being teased by someone who’s already proven to me that they’ll eventually deliver. Until I know that, it’s not teasing; it’s just unfocused.

Apply pressure. Not light, little, pointy licks. This is the number one mistake guys make. How would you like it if I made my tongue pointy and took tiny little licks at the most sensitive spot on the head of your dick? It would start to get annoying wouldn’t it? You want pressure, you want motion, you want wetness. Me too. Make a big, broad tongue and take huge, firm licks with it. Mash your face in there. Use your upper lip to pull down against your lower lip. It’s a different angle, but think about what my upper lip is doing when I’m going down on you. It’s applying firm pressure and motion to the other side of the head. Your upper lip will be applying firm pressure and motion to the shaft of my clit. Meanwhile, the tongue is both cushioning the teeth and licking. So the mouth is going up and down (open and closed) and the tongue is moving even faster than that.

Get a rhythym going. Start light and slow and work up. Go harder and faster until I cum or say ouch. Don’t wait until I’m most of the way there and then decide to go lick around the vaginal opening again. That’s not where the action is. Mixing it up towards the beginning is nice but not when it’s getting good at the end.

Sucking is good but you can’t do it constantly. Some sucking towards the start can help draw the blood into the clit, thereby making it more sensitive. Then sucking towards the end can be what pushes me over. Don’t suck more than maybe 15 seconds at a time. Break it up with the licking.

Tongue fucking: don’t bother. If a tongue was all it took, men with 1 1/2 inch dicks would be in huge demand. I don’t want to start the whole dick size debate but let’s just say that there’s such a thing as too small and your tongue is too small.

Fingers: see above. If you’re going to use your fingers, put in two and rotate them against each other by crossing and uncrossing them. The old in and out with something the size of a finger isn’t that exciting and it’s probably distracting you from your real job, which is licking that clit.

So what about “spreading my lips” with your fingers as you’re all so proud of reporting you will do? What the fuck for? So you won’t get messy? If your face is mushed in there good and hard, those lips will spread themselves. Don’t try to get my clit out where you can delicately touch it with nothing but the tip of your tongue. Smash yourself in there. Think hungry dog. Grab on and go grrrrrr from side to side. Shake it. Your face should be wet.

The G-spot. This is an area where women differ so you’ll have to find out, but I’d leave it out until you’ve mastered the basics. For me, an orgasm with g-spot stimulation is different from an orgasm without. It’s hard to say one is better than the other. Best way to describe it is that a purely clitoral orgasm is more pure and focused whereas an orgasm with g-spot stimulation is deeper and more whole body. They’re both nice but when I’m getting oral I’m generally looking for that pure all-clit feelings. Sometimes I like a couple all-clit, then a couple with g-spot, then back to all-clit. You’re going to have to find out from her.

Supposing you do decide to add g-spot, here’s how. Put one finger in and leave it in. No insy-outsy. Your chin should be too much in the way for that anyway. Put the tip of your finger against the top wall and make a “here kitty, kitty, kitty” motion. Don’t get so distracted by this you lose the tongue action. Consider it advanced and optional technique.

How do you know when you’re done? She’ll tell you. Keep going until she pulls away from you. Here’s how to tell a real, really good orgasm from a fake one – she’ll stop you and hard. You know how after you cum the head of your penis is horribly sensitive? We can tell when you cum thanks to the semen squirting out of you so we know when to back off and get gentle. You’re not so lucky about knowing when to back off so you’re going to have to let her say ouch and pull away. Don’t quit until then. A woman goes through plateaus or peaks on the way to an orgasm. Each one feels good but if you keep going there’s another, higher one. Even she may not know how high she can go and there’s certainly no way for you to guess. So don’t quit until she yanks herself away from you.

Are you done? No. Just as you find it pleasant for a woman to gently (gently!) lick you after you cum, so do we. When she pulls away, steady her with your hands on her thighs. Then take some nice, long, very wet licks from the vagina up over the clit with your tongue a little pointy. Done right, you’ll release an aftershock with each stroke.

Are you done NOW? No. When her legs relax and she stops shuddering every time you run over the clit, then it’s time to start again. The best part about being a woman is that not only can we do it all again sixty seconds later, but the next orgasm will be faster and better than the last one. At some point, this stops being true. That’s probably an individual thing. Me, it’s maybe six or seven and then they start taking longer and are less strong so that’s a good place to stop. Again, stop when she tells you to stop.

I’m not saying you have to do the whole six-orgasm routine every time, but if you’re going to claim that you love oral and you’re good at it, you should understand the standards by which you’ll be judged.