A friend of mine used to sneeze three times in a row right before she climaxed—every time she climaxed. It became a fun little advance warning system for her boyfriend. I thought of her this week when I read that allergy season is the happiest time of year for sneeze fetishists. Now, I make it a rule never to say that something is “normal” or “abnormal” in bed because A) who knows what goes on behind closed doors?, B) people used to say that oral sex was deviant, and C) who wants to be normal in bed anyway?? But I think it’s pretty safe to say that a sneezing fetish is a tad unusual. Not unusual as in weird, just unusual as in, probably most of us won’t date a sneezing fetishist in this lifetime.
On the one hand, this fetish kind of makes sense to me . After all, a full-body cathartic sneeze is one of the closest physical experiences to the orgasm there is . And do you remember how in junior high, everyone used to say that three sneezes equaled an orgasm? (Though Im guessing that the people spreading that particular rumor were doing a lot more sneezing than orgasming at the time.) Also, I suppose there could be something sexy for some people about hearing a stranger’s body doing something fairly dramatic that’s totally beyond their control (in which case: do queefs count, too?). HAHAHA!
Perhaps for sneeze fetishists, an observed sneeze during the morning commute is a preview of that person’s O-face. (And this is a much better explanation than , “Suppose a child were playing with him or herself and at the same time they hear someone in the next room sneeze. The connection is made.” What about the poor kid who happened to be rubbing up against the couch when Sesame Street came on TV?!) But on the other hand, every time we hear a phlegmy sneeze, our inner germaphobe can’t help but wonder, is that person going to wash their hands before holding the subway [or YOUR]pole?
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