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My dreams sometimes can be intense, like I was another woman in a prior life or something like that. I don’t know but these dreams are so intense it is like I am there. The other night, I had just watched a movie and fell asleep on the couch, this is when I shifted into this other world.

It was an early morning, and I was working by the light from the fire. I was at the community cooking area with four pots boiling. My dress was being cleaned in the last pot and I periodically stood, stretched and went over to stir the pot. I had nothing on except my undergarments but no men were around so there was no need to be shy. I fished out my garment, and draped it over a nearby chair. With any luck, the heat of the nearby fire would dry it in time for the feast.

My heart was pounding. The heavy rains had come and our community had begun to gather and prepare for the solstice feast. Every type of dish you could think of was there. Excitement filled the air, but all I could think of was the culmination of the feast. This night I would choose my first lover.

This was my first year to considered a woman in the eyes of the elders. I had transitioned from child to woman late last summer. This would be the first year I could sit in on the Choosing. I knew of what this was from sneaking around during it. I would listen in as the women would choose their lover and ceremoniously exit through the North door towards their dwellings. Mother always went first. After her, the other women chose. Some their mate, others not, but none could dispute her choice. Solstice was a time of renewal. A time to bring fruitfulness to the group. A time to forget the dismal darkness of the winter rains and build something beautiful, if only for a day.

As the elder’s daughter, I would choose after mother. And I would experience my first love with Chris. He was many summers older than I, and he was chosen routinely early in the ceremony and has had his way with many women outside of the ceremony but I have seen him watching me. He had peeked at me when I was bathing, causing me to let my hand stray between my legs later that night.

Let me choose you, come on this journey with me. I am waiting for your call.