A few people have chatted to me via private mail, asking for advice on having sex with animals. I would like to put down a few pointers for novices. Let’s concentrate on dogs for this article, as they are the animal of my preference, and also I think they are the animal most furries will readily have access to.

Dogs are the greatest sex-toy invented, for both men and women. They are ALWAYS horny, and get really enthusiastic about sex.

They will mature sexually around 8-10 months of age. As with bitches, try to avoid too much deliberate sexual activity before that age. Explore their genitalia and get used to how everything works. Their balls go from almost non-existent at 3 months of age to the serious pieces of sexual apparatus in a black velvet sac at 9 months. A dogs penis mostly stays hidden in his sheath, so get your dog used to you pulling his sheath back, exposing his dick. Caution here:- Do not expose a young dogs penis for too long. The pink flesh is VERY sensitive and can dry out. This is extremely painful for the dog, and he will have difficulty retracting it. Should this occur, lubricate it gently with generous quantities of KY jelly, baby oil, or any lubricant safe for sex, and carefully pull the sheath back over his penis.

Another note here. A dogs penis is very different from a human penis in shape. I’ll give dimensions for Hamlet (my Great Dane). When the dog is fully sexually aroused, the tip of the penis is tapered to a point, with a small, round hole in the end. The taper widens sharply to a diameter of about an inch, then the shaft is about 4 inches long. This meets a swelling of flesh of almost 3 inches in diameter. This is his knot. Then there is a further inch or so of shaft, before it joins the flesh at his groin. Take a deep breath here, that is about 8 inches of dog-flesh! The entire length is more sensitive than the glans of a mans penis. At full arousal, the knot can either be hidden in the sheath, which stretches around it, or outside, with the sheath pulled right back. If it is fully exposed, you will have to wait for the swelling to recede before you can pull the sheath back down.

Masturbation. Jerking your dog off. Great! They love it; never seem to get enough (although, by the gods of Gorgonzola, I do my best to give them enough!).

Get naked. Heaps more fun. Caress your dog all over his body, around his rump, and over his balls. Tease him a bit. You can tell when they are REALLY turned on, they will butt their heads into your groin if you stop. When you and he are ready, kneel beside him (if you are right handed, kneel on his left side) facing slightly toward his rear. With your left hand, keep caressing him, scratching his head, back and chest. Reach under his belly with your right hand, and between his rear legs. Start by stroking his sheath, then actually hold it with your whole hand and pull it forward and backward along his dick. When he starts swelling, follow the contours of his knot inside his sheath with your fingers opening and closing as they pass over it. Do not touch the sensitive flesh at this stage, or he’ll go soft on you, he won’t enjoy it.

He will probably be humping his hips as you are rubbing him now, and you can increase your tempo to match his. While his knot is covered by the sheath, you can squeeze it quite hard, and pull on it quite strongly; it will increase the intensity of his orgasm. By now he should be squirting dog cum quite freely. It is almost clear for the first few squirts, and pales to a milky color later. Keep you fist closed around his knot, and undulate your fingers. Perfect the technique that your dog likes best. He will probably reach his head around and lick his penis while he’s cumming. They like the taste of their own cum, and the feel of their tongues on their dicks.

At this point, you can sustain his pleasure, and increase your own by lightly tweaking the tip of his dick with the fingers of your left hand. Keep your other hand clasped around his sheath. You will be rewarded with a volley of fresh squirts of cum. At this stage, I often lick the tip with my tongue, or downright suck on his dick, and drink his cum. NO TEETH!! Don’t even touch that sensitive flesh with your teeth!

Don’t be afraid to swallow the dog-cum. It tastes slightly salty, and goes down the throat a lot easier than human cum. Highly recommended.