Christmas is the most fucking annoying holiday. It’s like the annoyance hangs over Halloween, and then fuck it’s that day again.
What annoys me about it all?
Let’s start with the fucking bells. Bells, fucking bells wherever you go. I came up with a fun little game. I call it Slay Bells. I know, I like drinking games as much as anyone, but this is far more twisted, and will excite my dark little heart.
Every time I hear a fucking bell jingling, I commit a gratuitous act of violence. Violent Night has nothing on me, when I am pissed!
There we have it. Big, fat pedo Santa ringing his bell and I am already seeing RED! I get him alone and shove the bell up his big, fat ass. That was fun, the perfect way to bring some holiday cheer.
I truly despise malls. That’s where I will go next. Elves ringing bells? Time to get totally violent and creative. Come here Mrs. Santa, I want to play!