I have been divorced all of my son’s life. I have always loved my son. To me he is everything to and I’d bend over backwards to do whatever is in his best interest. There is no boundries to what I’d do to make my son happy. That promise stems from me wanting my son sexually since he was just an infant. I have never had a good male in her life. My father left, and my Ex husband never treated me as he should have. Once he found out I was pregnant he bolted from the scene never to be heard from again, The only man I have had in my life has been my son. I have battled feelings of lust for years. As noted before I have wanted my own son since he was an infant but fear, guilt, and shame have prevented me from acting upon my desires, though I have had sexual fantasies about him for as long as I can remember and I masturbate to him constantly. I even had a dildo made especially for his cock and named it after him. It is my favorite toy and I use it I cum like I never thought I could. My orgasm is powerful and somehow I feel connected to him even though they we have yet to fuck and I so want to molest my son’s cock, it’s a burning desire.
At the same time I feel immense guilt for my perverted feelings. I have never confessed them to anyone until now. much I fear my son will not understand my lust or her love. I feel as if I am betraying him and will scar him forever and then he will hate me. I know by doing this it’s the ultimate sin and that I am a pedophile for even thinking such thoughts and yet just hearing his name in a casual conversation with friends makes me think of him in a lustful way. It’s no surprise I spend nights agonizing, stressing and crying about these mixed twisted emotions. I know that when and if first see and molest my son’s cock I will so overcome with emotion I may not even know what to do. Is it finally happening or iss this a dream that I will cruelly wake up from to find it’s not real?
