So, when I was a kid, I was terrified of sitting on Santa’s lap for two reasons. One was rational, the other was completely irrational.
I irrationally believed that if I sat on Santa’s lap, all the red from his pants would rub off onto me and I’d be red forever. I’m not sure where that idea came from, but I was terrifed.
The more rational reason was because even at the age of six, I though it was really creepy that a strange old man wanted me to sit on his lap. There just seemed something so dirty and wrong about that, especially as Santa often hugged you for the pictures. And that my parents, all parents, condoned this, was weird to me.
Now, I would totally sit on a dirty old man’s lap to get presents. I would sit on any man’s lap to get presents!
But, this year, i am whoring myself out for Christmas. Any of you wishing to sit on Tiffany’s lap for Christmas, give me a call. I have tons of presents to give out! Just the kind you like too!
1-866-794-8175 Merry Christmas Boys!!
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