It’s hard figuring out how to get the girl, and there are lots of how-to’s on different tactics and strategies to use to get her… well this how to is a little different. Because there are a lot of things that you SHOULDN’T do. Lots of mistakes to be made, and mistakes are usually general enough that they will cover an awful lot of girls, unlike pick-up tactics which will always only cover SOME.
And, as usual with these how-to’s, I am not in any way saying, implying or encouraging the idea that the guy should be the one doing all the work. However, I do not feel qualified to write a similar how-to from the guy’s point of view and I would like to leave that to a male author, if any feel so inclined.
That said.
First thing you should never ever do is flirt with the girl’s friends in order to get close to her. For some of you, this might be a no-brainer, but trust me I’ve seen it happen. It’s one thing to be friendly with her friends and nice, but when you FLIRT with her friends several things can happen. One might be that she thinks you’re interested in one of her friends, which means that she’s not even going to bother trying for you now because she thinks that you’re not interested in her. And that is not at all the goal. Another could be that her friend whom you’re flirting with gets interested in YOU. This is just as killer because she is NOT going to go out with someone that one of her friends is interested in, no matter how sweet, suave, etc. you get with her later. Or she might just think that you’re a big flirt, not realize that you’re flirting with intent when it comes to her. Or she’ll just think you’re a big player, and that’s not usually attractive.
Don’t ignore the friends, but don’t flirt with them either.
Here’s another… really bad, insulting, embarrassing or grotesque pick-up lines. These aren’t even funny, they’re horror stories that she will later pass on to her girlfriends with “Oh my God, this guy ACTUALLY said this, I swear I’m telling the truth…” Now, cheesy isn’t necessarily bad, I’ve seen it work. Stupid isn’t even that bad, some of those work too.
*Little inside thing, a stupid/cheesy one that actually worked on me:
Guy: “Did it hurt?”
Girl: “What?”
Guy: “When you fell from heaven?”
Just one of those things.*
Anyway, back to the what not to do. =) Try to stay away from overtly sexual pick up lines, unless of course you are trying to actually score and that’s all you want. But if this is a girl that you actually want to ask out on a date, do not, do NOT just go straight for the cheap sex shot.
Example: (Yes, I have seen this one used, do not EVER use it)
Guy says to girl: “Hey, wanna come over here and sit on my lap and we’ll talk about whatever pops up?”
Funny, yes, but bad. And kinda gross. And usually not the way to get a date. She’ll laugh, and if you can make a good recovery from that, like “haha, aren’t I funny when I’m kidding” then you might make it, but very few guys have the suaveness necessary to pull that off.
Also, do not use pick up lines when her girlfriends are with her. Only do it when she’s alone, if her friends are with her she’s going to feel like she has to laugh at you since they are. If you do it alone, it’s just a cute story about how goofy her new man is. Pick-up lines that can be pretty cute/sappy/goofy can be pretty awful if you embarrass her in front of her friends.
For example:
A large group of people is sitting at a table in a restaurant. Guy at the bar keeps checking out the pretty girl in a blue shirt, sends her a milk-shake. Decides that this may not be good enough, so comes over and jumps up on a table (hitting his head on a hanging light, which trust me loses whatever points anything else might have gained) and says,
“Excuse me! Excuse me! May I have your attention please?…” waits for all her friends to quiet and stare at him,
“We have an angel among us…” points her out in case anyone is missing who he’s talking about, “I just think that the girl in the blue shirt is gorgeous.”
Now. Good sentiment. Possibly even a good line. But you just embarrassed the hell out of her in front of a large group of her friends (and I swear to god, that’s a true story). There is no chance there.
Another mistake that’s made is thinking that if she turns you down, she’s playing hard to get. It happens, I understand. But if you make it to three strikes, you are done for. Give it up, stop trying. You might even stop trying after the first strike, sometimes they actually get interested if they think you’re leaving. I’ve seen weirder things happen.
If you don’t know her, don’t start out by touching her. No slinging your arm around her shoulders, nothing like that. Little touches MIGHT, note I say MIGHT, be ok. If you’re slick about it (ex. brushing lint off her arm, bumping into her just a little – A LITTLE, touching a ring or bracelet that you’re complimenting). Anything else is an invasion of space, especially if she’s never laid eyes on you before. Personally, I’m a sucker for a kiss on the hand, but not every girl is. You very may well get written off as cheesy.
I think that covers a lot of the really major mistakes. Ladies (or rejection-experienced gentlemen) please feel free to add your own comments at the end of this! I’m sure I didn’t cover everything, but hopefully I’ve helped a little. =)
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